A Food For Thought

This Q & A was forwarded to me recently. Hanya untuk berkongsi ilmu.

Mengahwini Wanita Hamil

Sesungguhnya, permasalahan ini berat. Perhatikan soalan 1 - 5. Perkahwinans eumpama ini hari ini memang tersangat biasa kerana keluarga biasanya memilih jalan ini untuk menutup malu. Bila dapat tahu anak pregnant luar nikah, cepat cepat kahwinkan.. Berdasarkan kenyataan ini, nikah itu TIDAK SAH, maka pasangan itu kelak hidup dalam zina sampai bila-bila... .

Persoalan ini telah diajukan kepada seorang Imam, di mana banyak persoalanlain timbul dari persoalan pokok tersebut. Saya kongsikan bersama anda di sini kerana ianya amat penting:

Soalan 1 : Apakah langkah yang sewajarnya sekiranya seorang gadis belum berkahwin didapati hamil anak luar nikah?

Jawapan 1 : Gadis itu tidak boleh berkahwin sehingga bayi itu dilahirkan.

Soalan 2 : Sekiranya lelaki yang bertanggungjawab itu bersedia mengahwini gadis itu, bolehkah mereka bernikah?

Jawapan 2 : Tidak. Mereka tidak boleh bernikah sehingga bayi itu dilahirkan.

Soalan 3 : Adakah pernikahan itu sah sekiranya mereka berkawin?

Jawapan 3 : Tidak. Pernikahan itu TIDAK SAH. Seorang lelaki tidak boleh mengahwini seorang wanita hamil, walaupun lelaki itu merupakan ayah kepada bayi yang dikandung itu.

Soalan 4 : Sekiranya mereka bernikah, apakah tindakan mereka untuk memperbetulkan keadaan?

Jawapan 4 : Mereka mesti berpisah. Perempuan itu mestilah menunggu sehingga melahirkan, atau sehingga sah dia tidak mengandung, barulah mereka boleh bernikah sekali lagi, secara sah.

Soalan 5 : Bagaimana sekiranya keadaan itu tidak diperbetulkan?Jawapan 5 : Maka mereka akan hidup di dalam zina kerana pernikahan itu tidak sah.

Soalan 6 : Apakah hak seorang anak luar nikah?

Jawapan 6 : Kebanyakan pendapat mengatakan bahawa anak itu TIADA HAK untuk menuntut apa-apa daripada ayahnya.

Soalan 7 : Sekiranya hukum mengatakan lelaki itu bukan ayah kepada anak tersebut, adakah itu bermakna dia bukan mahram kepada anak perempuannya sendiri?

Jawapan 7 : Ya. Dia tidak boleh menjadi mahram.

Soalan 8 : Sekiranya seorang lelaki Muslim dan seorang wanita Muslim (atau bukan Muslim) ingin bernikah setelah bersekedudukan, apakah tindakan yang sewajarnya?

Jawapan 8 : Mereka mesti tinggal berasingan segera dan menunggu sehingga perempuan itu haid satu kali sebelum mereka boleh bernikah.

Soalan 9 : Sekiranya saya kenal/tahu seseorang di dalam keadaan ini, apakah saya perlu memberitahu kepadanya, atau lebih baik menjaga tepi kain sendiri?

Jawapan 9 : Anda wajib memberitahu, kerana itu sebahagian tanggungjawab anda sebagai saudaranya. Mereka harus diberi peluang untuk memperbetulkan keadaan mereka, kalau tidak semua keturunan yang lahir dari pernikahan tidak sah itu adalah anak-anak yang tidak sah taraf.

Boy.....am i lucky to have a thai and italian cooking husband, huh. Myself.....Malaysian food jelah.

Then, his first day at school (standard one), i didn't give him any money as he didn't know how to buy at the canteen. I only gave him a bottle of plain water. He didn't complain. When i fetch him from school that afternoon, he was telling me about his first day at school. And he said this to me, "Mama, tadi masa rehat, Abang (that what he call himself) duduk kat kelas. Abang nak makan. Lepas tu abang pikir, abang pikir macam mana abang nak makan". I felt really guilty for not packing him any food. After that day i made sure that he had his breakfast before going to school and either pack him food or give him some money.

He was very nervous yesterday. He asked me, "What if i don't get good result for UPSR?". My reply to him was, "You don't have to be nervous. You have studied. Whatever results you get later should indicate your effort. How bad can it be?". We brought him to KFC last evening(he requested for it) for fast breaking, with the hope that it would calm him down.

This morning, he was very excited to go to school and i'm glad that he had overcome his nervousness.

Bulan Ramaddhan is back. Bulan yang penuh dengan keberkatan. Doa-doa dimakbulkan dalam bulan yang mulia ini.....insyaAllah.

My children....Rashdan (12), Izzati (9) except for Aishah (3) are fasting. My concern was with Izzati who is very very skinny even when it was not during not fasting month. Very choosy on food. Kata lapar tapi makan sikit.

Surprisingly, Izzati makan banyak during this fasting month. It was my "azam" to cook every day for the family during this fasting month, and so far i have succeeded in doing so. And i felt great to see the children were eating well since day one of this fasting month.

Our dishes during berbuka puasa were very simple. My children don't want to eat rice with lauk. So i cooked something else.

First day: Mee Hailam (cooked by my hubby at my mom's house)
Second day: Laksa Kuah putih (two bowls for Izzati. She loved the dish)
Third day: Mee Sayur
Fourth day: Bubur sup ayam
Fifth day: Nasi ayam special
Sixth day : Speghetti (cooked by my hubby) and sausage salad (i cooked)
Today? My daughter requested for bubur lambuk.

The children's requests have actually make it easy for me. I don't have to think of what to cook today. as my mom said, whenever you want to cook for berbuka puasa, always ask the children first. Bukan husband...ek. Bukan apa.....just to encourage them to fast.

So far what i have cooked were just enough and no wastage. Alhamdulillah. Kalau ada lebih, i habiskan masa sahur. That is also an ibadah.

Why do we cry? We cry when we feel sad or in pain. Sometimes we also cry when we feel very happy.

Here are a few moments when i feel like crying.
1. At a majlis akad nikah. After pengantin lelaki successfully akad nikah. I will always feel like crying because it means it is a new journey of the pengantin's life. A lot more to come after that.

2. When i see people celebrating their victory. For example, when the Brazil women volleyball team won the gold olympic medal. The moment they celebrated their victory toucched my heart.

3. During hari raya. When i kissed my parents hands especially my mom's and say sorry for all my wrongdoing. Memang tangkap shahdulah masa tuh. And i will cry every time and every year when it happens. Oops....not to forget....masa minta maaf dengan suami pun tangkap syahdu jugak.

4. Death of any one i know. Friends and relatives. Remembered when my Mak Teh passed away. I just cannot help crying looking at her cucu cried bila nak tengok jenazah. And also masa arwah Encik Fauzi......especially when looking at his youngest son was playing near the kubur bila nak kebumikan jenazah. Sedih. Ada student call nak tanya whether the news about his death was true or not.....i couldn't speak. And the student understood.

Ada a few more which i cannot think of right now.

Sunday, 7 September 2008. My son is going to sit for his UPSR this Tuesday. Phew......he's gonna sit for the exam.....why am i having butterflies in my stomach?

He cannot sleep last Friday night. He came into my room and wake us up. And my husband went to sleep with him in his room. Just to accompany him. That was about 1 am. I woke up again at about 2 am. I couldn't sleep after that, wondering if my son was thinking about his exam. Since i couldn't sleep, i got up and performed the solat taubat and followed by solat hajat. As i was just about to complete the solat hajat, my son came into my room again and told me that my youngest daughter wants milk. After preparing milk for my daughter, i saw my son was still awake. I took the chance to talk to him.

I asked him what made him couldn't sleep? Is he thinkng abou his exam? It was true. He was actually a bit tensed. This is what i told him:

"Abang (that's waht i call him) jangan tension. You have studied hard. Whatever your result you get, should be good enough for me because you have shown to me that you have studied. Kalau abang tak dapat 5A sekali pun, i will not be angry with you. Just be cool."

I really hoped that what i said calms him down. As a parent, i want him to be successful. But i have to make sure that i do not pressure him too much. I will not show my worry but keep on encouraging him and praying for his success.

Mahmood Rashdan.....i pray that you get 5A because you deserve it.....

I guess i have to complete the assignment huh...Got a bit addicted to this blogging thing. Tapi kena banyak belajar lagi. Looking at Hidayah and Suhaniz's blogs.....very interesting.

So here's the answer to the five questions.

Question 1
Let me see....five years ago means year 2004. I'm still working in KPTM. Got pregnant with my third one. Jazmina Aishah was born on 17th November 2004, that was the fourth hari raya aidil fitri. Bought the house which i'm staying now.

2005 - renovated my house. Sungai Isap is known for its every year "banjir". So i besarkan rumah and the part yang i tambah, ditinggikan. So far, although it still floods every year, at least there are some part of my house is safe.

2005 is also the year when somebody took away my hand bag. Hish....so troublesome having to make the police report, make new ic, and also other reports.

2006 - Sukan MARA. Represented MARA Pahang for Bowling. We were the 1st runners up. Not bad ....eh!

2007 Nothing unusual happened in 2007. Let go my KJship. I thought, it's about time for me to concentrate on my children.

2008 - busy trying to be a good parent. Rashdan (my eldest) is going to sit for his UPSR. Concentration is fully on him. Not to forget Izzati (2nd). She dyslexic (is that how they spell it?) I need to spend more time coaching her to read. I think it worked well. Her reading and results are mush better now.

Question 2
I'm on MC today (5 August 2008). Having a fever and the doctor gave me two days MC. But the following were in the list to do today.

1. Mark the quizes.
2. Prepare the next quizes - ACT 243 and ACF 132
3. Update some notes.
4. Meet my mentees, 39 of them....
5. Cook mee sayur tonite (if i have the strength to do it. The medicine which the doctor gave me makes me feel very sleepy)

Question 3
1. Kerepek ubi pedas - the one that Razmi sells
2. Enjoyed chocolates, especially Kit Kat
3. Twisties...but not too much. Not good for your brain.
4. Pau kacang and kaya
5. Curry puffs and doughnuts

Question 4
If i were a billionaire, i would first pay off all my debts. Yang tu wajib. Bila ada duit mesti bayar hutang dulu. Then, i would quit KPTM kot...ha ha ha and be a billionaire house wife. Jaga anak lagi bagus. See they grow to be useful people. Berangan jelah. Give some to my parents, adik beradik and to my relatives yang memerlukan. Lebih afdhal dulukan sedara-mara. Then, of course donate some to saudara seagama before i invest the rest.

Question 5
The five jobs i've had.
My first job was an audit assistant with Coopers & Lybrand Kuantan. That was after my Diploma. Then after my degree, i was working as an Accounts Officer at Multi-Dominion Mining. When i got married, my husband and i moved to JB. My first job there was an Accounts Executive at Hoshita Engineering and later quit the job to become a lecturer at Rima College. After having my first child, we moved to KL and that's when i joined KPTM (KYPM then). And not forgetting......a part-time cashier at KOMASRA....ha ha ha.

Hope the above answered all your questions.